Posts tagged lol

Obviously, I don’t endorse murder, but I do love this dad’s response to Magic!’s RUDE.  Mostly because if Joe Schmoe had any musical talent and a guy wrote RUDE to him — he’d answer very similarly.

Letter: Dumb ol' Jeb » Naples Daily News

Dumb ol’ Jeb W

ant to know how dumb Jeb Bush is? Let me tell you. Bush has partnered with Bill Gates, publishing companies and others to implement Common Core in exchange, essentially, for money for his next political campaign.

But he doesn’t realize that the Common Core curriculum is designed to indoctrinate our children into progressive, anti-American ideologies which will result in no future voters for the “evil, rich, business-owning” Republican Party. He is unwittingly arranging the demise of his own party. What a fool.

All that money coming into his campaign coffers has blinded him to the perils threatening the future of our children and our country. Shame on you, Jeb Bush, and any other Republicans who are pushing Common Core on the good people of this nation.

This letter to the editor had me cracking up for a number of reasons.

Favorite teaching moments

I used to keep a word file of my favorite quotes from my students.

Here is what I have left of the file (I had more, but I don’t know what happened).

This was when I taught K-1 Special Ed 

"I was here tomorrow." -T.

"Look!  I’m a dad!" - J.

"He just needs to wash his tongue." -T. about a kid who sticks his fingers in his mouth so we make him wash his hands a lot.

"I am going to name the frog Junior.  That’s my tribute to Martin Luther King Junior!  The KING!" -M.

"I got money cash.  I’m rich baby, I’m rich." -M.

"Miss ——-!  my hands are wobbly, they keep on messing me up"- J. about his handwriting.

"Hey red head!  Do you know why I called you that?  It’s because you have red hair!!!"- M.

"Miss ———, what time is your bedtime?" -J

"About 9 o’clock these days."-Me

"That’s my bedtime too!"-J

"I have a really strong tongue." -T.

"I have a good memory card in my brain." -R.

"I am clapping for my own self." –M.    

"I like you as a teacher.  You’re nice." -A.

"I’m not a very big fan of yours anymore."-T. after getting in trouble

Someone asked about my breast cancer bracelet

"I got this bracelet to help people who are sick." -me

"Aww.  Miss ———— are you sick?"- S.

"If I were your teacher, I would let you do whatever you wanted.  Except cuss.  And I would give you nickles all the time." -T.

The martial arts teacher and I are “jousting” with those pool noodles.  As a natural response, I am flinching.

"I don’t think Miss M——- likes that.  I think you should stop." -G. 

"Polly, if you keep ignoring me I’m going to have to feed you to the crew."-S. to the paper parrot pinned to his shirt on Pirate Day

"And then there’s this animal, it’s worse than a snake.  It crawls down your throat and eats your heart."

"My brain got sleepy, and it almost made me go to sleep.  So my brain forgot to tell me to open my eyes when I was walking.  So I ran into a door!  And I almost bleeded."-T,

I wear a necklace with a heart on it to work.

"Miss M———, do you wear that necklace because you love us?"- S.

"Yes." - Me

For my birthday I gave my kids Browns lunch bags filled with favors.

"I can’t believe it.  I can’t believe it.  This is the best day ever.  It’s YOUR birthday and you gave ME a present!" -M.

Later… after showing his sister what he got and pulling out a peppermint patty

"A breath mint!  I’ve GOT A BREATH MINT!"

J. and I are playing Chutes and Ladders (no one else is playing).  J randomly looks at me and says:

"We can’t  get mad though, because it’s just a game.  You can’t get mad at games because they don’t really matter that much."

"Miss ———, you’re my white chocolate." - M. (this and the following comment were meant innocently… there’s a story behind it that maybe one day I will tell).

"Maybe you could help A. think of a way to make it up."-Me

"Be nice to people A.  Be nice to all the people."-J.

"Miss ——-, you’re the cream in my coffee.  And I LOVE coffee." -M.

"Miss ———, I’m going to stay with you forever."-S.

"I can’t go home yet, I forgot  my breath mint!" -M.

"That was me.  I just farted." -T. (when no one asked)

"Go Browns and I wish you a Merry Christmas." - J. to my dad

"How did you know I like guitars so much?" -M.

"Because we love you and we just know everything that you like." - Me

"Oh.  SAAAAAAAWEEET!" -M

"I can come home with you if you want." - B.

Our principal walks into the gym dressed for mismatch day.  D. says this in a sing-songy, but serious voice — not loud enough for anyone other than me and him to hear: “Oh Mr. P. I like your shirt.  It is cool.  What a handsome man you are.”

While making tally marks and graphs of the people who are right-handed and left-handed, John who is left-handed had this discussion with me, a righty.

"Miss ————, it is MUCH easier to use your left hand."-J.

"For some people, for other people its easier to use your right.  That’s why we have left-handed people and right-handed people."-me

"But right hands are bear hands."-J

"Bear hands?" - Me

"Yeah, like the animals." -J

"Who told you that?" - Me

"I saw it on a thing on tv about baseball." - J

So because they used the term BARE handed, J thinks right hands are bear hands which makes it harder for people to use them.

Mrs. L. was saying that my clothes for mismatch day were still color-coordinated.  I was disagreeing with her.

"I agree with Miss _____." -D.

"Thanks for having my back D." -Me

"You’re welcome.  Don’t worry, I will always be here for you Miss ————." -D

"OWWWW.  You just cracked my NIPPLES!" - D.  (he meant knuckles)

"You’re wearing glasses!?" -D.

"Yeah, they are new." - me

"Oh.  You’re going blind?!" -D

"Can we do the matrix as part of our dance?" -M. about our spring performance to Hannah Montanna

"You have to use the toilet when you’re in there." -Me

"I did use the toilet."-T.

"No you didn’t.  You don’t pee  in your pants when you use the toilet." - Me

"Oh.  I didn’t know that." -T

"I have an exercise ball, Adam tells me to do some stomach crunches but I never do." - Miss L. (my work best friend) to me while walking behind my class

"Its ok!  I will remind you to do it in music!!!" -Tyler

"That Titus.  He’s my dog man." -J. about one of the 6th graders

"You can’t eat me Miss ——-.  Then you would have two hearts and you would throw up." -J.

"It’s not Miss ————-’s FART!" - JB (she meant fault) speaking about the computer not working

"That is a BIG BUTT!" - B (meaning bus)